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5 Halloween Costumes That Only People In Louisiana Would Find Scary

What scares you might not scare me. Our brains are wired differently.  Our up bringing and social surroundings contribute in a big way to what creates fear within us too. Still there are some very common denominators that tend to strike fear into many hearts. Here in Louisiana we aren’t scare of much but some things do give us the heebie jeebies. Here are some of those scary things that might make for ghastly Halloween costumes.


FEMA Interview (commons.wikimedia.org)
FEMA Interview (commons.wikimedia.org)

1

FEMA Inspector

 

 

This costume consists of a business suit or work shirt and jeans that is wrapped in an abundance of red tape. The costume isn’t complete without a clip board and a sack full of empty  promises. If you’re going to a Halloween party as a FEMA inspector you will want to show up three or four weeks late.

 

TheSeasonedCook via You Tube
TheSeasonedCook via You Tube

2

Burned Roux

 

 

For this costume you will need to appeal to visual and olfactory senses. For the visual you will need a sheet that is colored black. The kind of black that is darker than the heart of a divorce attorney. You will also need a fragrance that smells very similar to baked ass mixed with hot tar and sweaty feet. You won’t be invited any Halloween parties.

 

konmesa, ThinkStock
konmesa, ThinkStock

3

Low Fat Food

 

 

For this costume you will need some hay matted together with yard waste and packing peanuts. You will want to make your costume in bar form. You will have to explain what you are because  many of us in Louisiana are not familiar with you at all. We’ve only seen you at restaurants and parties hosted outside the state. If you go to a Halloween party you will spend a lot of time by yourself and will the be the only thing left at the end. By the way, even the dog won’t like you.

 

gpointstudio/ThinkStock
gpointstudio/ThinkStock

4

Common Core

 

 

To dress as Common Core you will need a costume that consists of the most confusing array of items that you can find. You’ll place all of these items about your person and then force yourself on every person in the room. Even when  you’re told to go away you  will keep coming back being more confusing each time.  Should you be invited to a Halloween party you will only be comfortable if you’re standing next to someone dressed as Bobby Jindal.

 

5

Speed Trap

 

 

For this costume you will need a billboard to hide behind, a small and barley visible sign with the posted speed, and a name tag that reads Washington, Maurice, Forest Hill, Olla, or Lincoln Parish. You will also need to have very little tolerance and be more stiff than a white guy singing the blues. If you’re invited to a Halloween party you will simply jump out at unsuspecting guests and take most of the treats from their bag.

 

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