Cassandra Rose

Janet Jackson is worth an estimated $150 million -- but she just got engaged to a dude who looked at her bank account, laughed and said, "Awww. Isn't that cute?"

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Despite rumors to the contrary, 'Argo' director Ben Affleck is not vying for a senate seat just yet.

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Pretty much everyone already knew that Jessica Simpson blew her deal with Weight Watchers by getting herself knocked up again mere minutes after shedding the weight she gained from her first pregnancy earlier this year.

But for those of you who didn't know, now you have your confirmation.

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Don't call it a comeback. Except do -- because Britney Spears has once again reclaimed her throne as the Queen of Pop, raking in more money this year than her fellow female singers.

And you thought that downward spiral into head-shaving and shoelessness spelled her demise.

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Douchebag extraordinaire Joe Francis, the founder of 'Girls Gone Wild,' took an innocuous mention of his scantily-clad lady franchise uttered by 'Twilight' star Robert Pattinson and ran with it -- offering the sparkly vampire $100,000 to appear in one of his videos.

Presumably with his shirt on.

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Lindsay Lohan will sadly not be amusing us via a one-on-one interview with ABC's Barbara Walters as planned, because for some reason all the network wants to talk about is how much of a trainwreck LiLo is.

UNPOSSIBLE.

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We're guessing the cash flow situation for Lindsay Lohan is pretty dire, since she recently dispatched younger sister Ali to sell off her used clothing, shoes and accessories, presumably to raise money for her enormous tax bill.

Alms for the poor ... alms for the poor ...

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John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, that dynamic duo from 'Grease,' have joined forces to assault your ears and ruin all your Christmas cheer with their holiday themed song, 'I Think You Might Like It.'

Spoiler alert: We didn't.

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On the sadly soon-to-be-canceled 'Anderson Live,' host Anderson Cooper discussed losing his eyesight for a whole 36 hours last week while filming a segment for '60 Minutes.'

Where we we when this was happening? We missed the opportunity to walk into Anderson Cooper's hands and let him cop an unwitting feel.

Ugh. Regrets.

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- Eddie Murphy is the most overpaid actor in Hollywood. Quelle surprise.

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Marrying a cardboard likeness of Edward Cullen might not be as crazy as it sounds. Okay, it's kind of crazy, but not in the “I want to give birth like Bella and have my husband bite my baby's umbilical cord off with his teeth” crazy.

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Yes, Ashton Kutcher will still be starring as Steve Jobs in the biopic tentatively titled 'jOBS,' and yes, we still think they should consider changing the name.

Maybe 'iJobs.' Or 'Steve iJobs.' Or 'Steve Jobs Now Lives in the iClouds.' Something.

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