For those who do not play bridge, let me explain something to you. It's an exercise in self-loathing.  You think through each bid like Chess champion Bobby Fisher. And no matter how you study or how hard you try, you always seem to have a brain fart at the wrong time and play a terrible game. You end up on the bottom of the score sheet, and all your bridge buddies avoid eye contact so as not to embarrass you.

When my husband asks how I did, my head drops, eyes pointing to the ground and in a whispering voice say, "I stink. I just stink." And then, of course, you're back at it, playing bridge at least three times a week.

Now, who in their right mind would put themselves through this kind of torture, all on the faint chance that you might rise to the occasion, play a great game and get a whopping .017 of a point? Oh yes, in duplicate bridge you play for points.

After three years of playing I have 40 whole points. At this rate, I won't be a Grand Master until I'm 100! A little advice: if someone says they're thinking about learning to play bridge, tell them it's an addiction, a sickness.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. It's time to go play bridge. And did I happen to tell you I came in first place last week and got .80 of a point? Things are looking up!