Can You Describe Your Legitimate, Legal Job as a Crime?

One of the latest trends on Reddit is a thread about folks describing their legitimate job as if it were a crime and people are getting really creative! Just like the people on Reddit, our locals have come up with some seriously awesome narratives for their daily grind. For example, mine would be, 'I wake you up in the morning without coffee and get songs stuck in your head on repeat.' Please try not to hurt me if you see me out and about!

So what about you? How would you describe your job as a crime? I've listed some of my favorites below... and I'll include the answer at the very bottom of the page after the photo gallery so you can check your answers! Let me know how many you got correct! As always, feel free to give me a follow on social media:)

1. Denise Wilson - I go into strangers' homes when they’re away. I go thru every room in the house. I usually bring other people with me too.
2. Holly Searcy - I am a detective, social worker, hr director, traffic cop, hygiene monitor, referee, presenter, manager, child advocate, and call complaint center... what am I?
3. Gary Jones - I make pale people look and feel better about themselves.
4. Angela Cornelius - I investigate what’s wrong by poking you and potentially cutting you open.
5. Alexis Hixson - I take away your ability to shower or flush your toilet if you don’t give me your money.
6. Tiffani Walker - I show up on your property and point out everything you've messed up or neglected over the years and then offer you money to help fix it, but make you work your ass off to get the money and then might deny you the money anyways.
7. Michelle Barr - I run an assisted living facility. Mostly they are ungrateful and break things.
8. Steve Castello - I convince you I can make people like you better through word and song, then I turn around and sell you air
9. Shelley Stewart - I’m the one that works with you to get you out of the crime.
10. Arthur Nerio - I take your identity and make it better.

Correct answers:

1. Realtor
2. School principal
3. Spray tan artist
4. ER doctor
5. Works at Bossier City Water Department
6. Soil conservationist
7. Farm owner and horse trainer and riding instructor
8. Advertising agency executive
9. Paralegal
10. Photographer