Buy a Clip-In Man Bun and Be a Joke Among All Your Friends

This is a fashion statement we most definitely recommend you don't make.

For the low, low (but still too high) price of $9.99, you can buy a clip-in man bun. This is a Groupon offer, down from the $65.34 it's supposed to cost, so if you were shaking your head at the $9.99 price, then we can only assume we'd have to hold your faux man bun back while you kneel into the toilet at the original cost.

Calling it "one of the hottest trends in men's fashion," the ad says, "This attachable—and, equally important, detachable—man bun lets you blend in with your surroundings, putting it on when you smell fair-trade coffee or hear a banjo, and taking it off when someone utters the word bro."

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Spin it all you want -- we're having no part of this.

And while we're at it, don't even think mullets or capri pants. Those are no good for anyone.