Bristol’s Brain: To Colonic or Not to Colonic?
Yesterday, the topic of conversation around the radio station was who wanted to go in together to get colonics... yes, colonic hydrotherapy, the infusion of water into one's rectum to remove encrusted fecal matter, gas and mucus.
I can’t believe the people I work with… Seriously… the thought that she (the offending party will remain unnamed to protect the not so innocent) would just walk into the conference room during a meeting asking if we would want to do go do a colonic with them (other co-workers)… I mean, I’ve heard of team building, but a group colonic?
Would we all be lined up on white draped massage tables face down with garden hoses sticking out of our butts after doing shots of some chalky nasty stuff in between shots of tequila to make it bearable? I can just see it now, a row of drunken DJs, the sound of giggles interspersed with wet farts and nasty gushing sounds. Not my cup of tea!
I’m sorry, colon cleaning isn’t a group activity and I really don’t even want to do it solo unless my doctor tells me I have to… I don’t even like pooping at work! Heck, if there’s someone in the bathroom when it's 'that' time, I’ll hold it come back later!
I don’t care how flat a colonic will make your stomach… But what if they asked me to go get a colonic with them because they think I’m fat? Am I thinking like an old person? After all, they’re all millennials… and I already wear flats instead of cute shoes and heels. What’s next, mom jeans? Maybe I do need a colonic… Is this God telling me I need a colon screening?!?!? They said it was *only* $90…
Here's what my friends on Facebook had to say about this craziness!