Just in Time for Your Resolutions: Girl Scout Cookies on the Way
Remember when you promised yourself and everyone else at the bar that you were going to get in to better shape (I believe you used the term "ripped") in 2020? Well, it's time to test your resolve - Girl Scout Cookie season is upon us!
Sure, you think you're tough now - but, just wait until you pass about a thousand girls clad in green berets and sashes peddling all of your dreams-come-true for just a few dollars a box. WBAP is reporting that Girl Scouts in Texas have already convened their annual conference dedicated to sharpening their skills for
world domination cookie marketing. They call it "Cookie University," and it is effective. According to NBC News, the ladies in green rake in about $700 million a year, and have since 1999.
If you think you can resist, good luck. In my experience, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who admit that they could single-handedly destroy a box of Thin Mints/Somoas/Trefolis/etc while bingeing their favorite show - and liars.
Can your newfound dedication to "looking good naked," compare to the bliss of chasing the bottom of a fresh Girl Scout Cookie box? We shall soon see. As for me, I have resolved to treat myself. Count on me to take bullet after delicious bullet for you this most joyous of seasons. Cookie sales should start around January 10th this year.