Americans Celebrate 4/20 In Different Ways And Different Haze

Apparently  Hallmark, McDonald', and a few of the more stubborn Elk and Moose Lodge chapters in the midwest are about the only big name groups  that still have not piled on to the swelling tide of Americans who are celebrating 4/20 today.  All over this hemp producing land, overwhelming displays of lethargy, short term memory challenges and carbohydrates served right on the couch are being enjoyed and shared.  Being known among your peers as one who may occasionally smoke an herbal mixture of relaxation and pizza enhancer no longer carries the stigma it once did. All over this great, just greaaaaat big land of ours, hemp enthusiasts have planned an astonishing assortment of concerts, art fairs, food festivals, food trucks, maybe more food trucks, and sweetly simple music fests in downtown parks because those are the parks it's easiest to remember how to get to. Some of the events are kid friendly and open to all, others are more for the serious smoker who wants to smoke in the company of other serious smokers, some of whom preferably play music or own a food truck.

In mota friendly Colorado there are several events planned catering to stoners from all walks of life. In Morrison, Co, there's a music fest studded with pro herbal jam bakers like Method Man and Raekwon, while Greenwood Village hosts a Mary Jane Wellness Retreat, (Retreat being the go to substitute for other words with too much baggage like "commune" or God forbid, "ashram", expect Snoop Dog, ne Snoop Lion, ne Snoopy Dooby Doo, ne corporate shill and establishment golden boy to show up to announce the launch of a hemp based Snoop Dog Food With Real Red Buds. The iconic magazine 'High Times' rings in with the Outstanding Lack Of Effort From A Smug Bunch Of Irrelevant Has Beens by hosting a concert and awards show the night before, (4/19?......so like, its sponsored by aloe vera or what?).Los Angeles, Ca is pulling out all the stops with it's Herb 'n Baked Smokeout, promising patrons surprise celebrity appearances and blithely assuring them NO one is checking for medical cards from any smokers who smokey smoke that smokin' stuff that smokes so smokey. In Houston, Tx, they don't want you to even think about bringing kids to an event that promises to mix beer, boots, and belt buckles with blunts, bongs, and bad new bubblers.

But the biggest, most detailed, fun sounding and just "perfect place meets perfect party" place to be today has to be Eugene Or, Ganjacon, or San Francisco's Hempcon, an 18 and over only affair that lures visitors with the promise of on-site doctor evaluations just in case you are one of the few, unfortunate remaining Californians who do not have a medical marijuana card. Between them, they offer free cannabis samples from competing growers,,arts from paintings displayed for purchase to hands on crowd participation body painting, men's and women's chorales, and bands of all stripes and flavors. Hempcon also has a joint rolling contest "Rollling Legends" and a wildly popular scavenger hunt wherein guests who've been smoking for a few hours are challenged to say where their  car keys currently are, where in fact they themselves currently are, and how does it feel knowing water is so freaky that its liquid form can and does float its solid form no matter how humongous that solid form may become.. Many times it is here where long standing barriers are torn down and hugs and tears finally get their freedom, and suddenly waaay too many men are hugging you waaay too long and that old struggle to maintain some sense of personal space without coming across like Sara Palin on a Schlitz Malt Liquor fast sets in.

I don't, and in fact never really have smokde pot. Ordering pizza from my living room floor setting new and more grounded, less selfish life goals to completely flunk out on just wasn't something I needed any chemical help with. And I was already naturally endowed with a sense of core inner peace concerning failure because I knew in my heart that I was, and was fully intending to remain. WAY TOO WASTED to succeed at anything. Because therein lied my greatest success.   So don't bogart that joint my friend, for while the truly ignorant will tell you its a gateway drug to heroin, Crosby, Stills and Nash music, and the ability to identify and understand the real differences between fast food grease, restaurant grease, and fine dining grease, and the overzealous will harken back to hemp ropes sailors first navigated the world with and how cancer is terrified of pot and how the DEA actually patrol in black helicoptors POWERED by hemp oil and the sweat of the middle class. The truth is, if your can't roll a joint with one hand and steer the truck, pop a beer, swap out 8 track tapes and put a dip in with the other........why are you even asking?