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Matt Damon Says ‘No’ to Toilets in Fake Press Conference Video for Real Cause

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Matt Damon has vowed not to go to the bathroom until every person on the planet has access to a toilet. It’s a joke — sort of. The Oscar winner showed his comedy chops in a funny new video for his organization, whose goal is to provide clean toilets and water to people around the world.

“780 million people, that’s twice the population of the United States, lack access to clean water,” says Damon. “2.5 billion people lack access to a toilet or basic sanitation. More people have access to cellphones than have toilets.”

Rather than respect the message and ask the hard questions, the group of “reporters” take funny jabs at Damon.

“Do you mean literally, like, you won’t go to the bathroom, but you’ll go somewhere else, like maybe a swimming pool,” asks one reporter.

Another deadpans: “If you’re saying by this strike you will not be excreting waste from your body, does that mean both caca and pee-pee?”

Damon’s reactions are priceless. However, he manages to bring it back to his cause with aplomb — and what is no doubt a little personal satisfaction at his closing remarks.

“I implore everybody in this room, please, everybody here today, everybody watching at home to just join me and say no to toilets, say yes to clean water and sanitation for all,” he says to the group, before muttering under his breath, “reporters are d___s.”

Damon’s “Support the Strike” campaign has raised over $36,000 to date with 47 days left. Its original goal was $10,000.

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