Bristol’s Random Thoughts, Not That Anyone Cares 4th of July Weekend Edition

I've been known to be, shall we say, a bit 'random' on occasion. In fact, for years I closed my show with the bit, 'Random Thoughts, Not that Anyone Cares.' It was a way for me to get some of the madness that is continually circling my brain out in the open to make you feel like you didn't have it so bad. Well, this weekend was another case study in just that!

Let this be my PSA for the day... make sure your loved ones reset their alarm from the 4th of July holiday. I didn't... so just imagine this, air-dried bed head hair in a bun on top of my head, zero makeup, and pillow marks on my face. That's me today!

Thankfully, I'm quite well versed in the art of laughing at myself. Now normally, I don't drink coffee even though I love it. But I'm out of Spark and my new order won't arrive until tomorrow... As a result, I found myself stepping bleary-eyed into the Haughton Pilot where that dang machine blasts you with air when you come through the door. (WHY?!?!?!?!?) Naturally, it scared the heck out of me to the amusement of several of the other morning oil field regulars. Iced coffee in hand I head to the register and wait in line where a woman, fully made up for the day mind you, looks at me with horror. I'm sure I don't look that bad, right? Until I figure out she can't figure out how to get around me while social distancing. Of course, I didn't have a mask on... She's lucky I was wearing pants!

That's when one of the regulars decides to start teasing me. He's like, That coffee looks good, can I try it?' I'm like, 'Nooo...' He says, 'Come on, I don't have corona...' Sure, but what if I do? That poor guy had no idea how close he came to getting stabbed with a plastic spork from the snack bar. I'm not about to give up even a sip of my lifeline this morning!!! Especially being just 6 days cigarette free.

This all comes after a first date last night where I completely embarrassed myself. We're having a blast, laughing and carrying on while he's teaching me to play disc golf at Ford Park. It's gorgeous out but it's HOT! Who cares, we're having fun right?!? Until I get into the car and realize I had total swamp a$$... Thank goodness he was a total gentleman and didn't say a word! That was after I accidentally locked my dogs in the truck with it running and the A/C on high. Welcome to my life! I think I'm going to start selling tickets.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

Naturally, I shared my comedic mishaps online to find out if I was all by myself out here proving Murphy's Law exists. Turns out, I'm not alone! Feel free to post a comment and commiserate with the rest of us and give me a follow!