Right off the bat, go ahead and file this story under You Can't Make This Stuff Up.

The Edinburgh Evening News is reporting a woman bit off a man's tongue during a street brawl and a seagull swooped down, grabbed it, and ate it. This is what legends are made of. This man now has a story that trumps any other story ever being told around him.

According to reports from court proceedings, a Scottish woman named Bethaney Ryan was involved in a heated argument with a man named James McKenzie. There's no word on why the argument began, but it started as they passed each other on a sidewalk. Her attorney stated Bethaney tried to walk away from the confrontation, but James followed her and approached her with a clenched fist. When he got too close to her, Bethaney pushed him and went in for a big kiss. That's right, a big kiss. Apparently, James thought she was making a move on him because he slipped her some tongue. Bad idea, because Bethaney then proceeded to bite off about three centimeters of his tongue off.

I know what you're thinking right now: this happens all the time in Florida. Well, hold your horses because here's where the story turns epic. Bethaney spat the freshly bitten tongue onto the sidewalk. A local seagull who was minding his own business mere mintues ago and lives life with a carpe diem mentality saw his chance for a snack. The gull swooped down from his perch, snagged the piece of tongue, and ate it. Please tell me someone got a cell phone video of this altercation and the seagull putting in work. Hopefully, they're just in monetary negotiations with TMZ to buy the video.

Bethaney was later arrested and James was rushed to the hospital. Ms. Ryan pleaded guilty to assault with severe injury and permanent disfigurement in an Edinburgh court.

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