Do you have a receipt for that?
There’s this guy who works at a local convenience store in Shreveport (which I will not name) who has a serious impact on his customers. Most regulars in this establishment know him when he’s there, and if they are in a hurry, they find a way to be unavailable to talk. However, occasionally there will be an unsuspecting shopper, or a person like me, who enjoys the randomness, who holds up the line while he preaches his nonsense.
It’s as if he finds purpose in his job by sharing the gospel of his personal political views on the world with unsuspecting shoppers who just want a Snickers.
For example, this woman in front of me asked for a pack of cigarettes behind the counter. She asked, “Are those the one that are $1 off?” And he said, “Ma’am, they are kind of like an atomic bomb…it doesn’t matter if you buy a bomb for $40 or $2.50, they are both gonna go boom.” Well, what can one say to that other than, “Debit, please.”
So, then it was my turn. I know how he is, and I kind of enjoy his rants (which is why I only go there when I’m either not busy or just really, really bored). So, I start it off by asking if he’s from Southern Louisiana. Somehow, this instantly sends him on a rant about the Louisiana Purchase.
He says, “Yeah, uh, I think we should just go back to everyone and say, ‘HEY! I want it back!’ and just uh… take it back!”
He continued to try to explain this simple statement and I interrupted him and said, “Well, I think you might need to have a receipt for that.”
Stumpped, he said, “Well, somebody’s GOTTA have one SOMEWHERE!”
Something tells me he doesn’t have it. But I bet he can find me some Pop Rocks… assuming that doesn’t send him into a rant on the universe. I don’t think I’m prepared for that.