How many times have we told ourselves that same refrain, ladies?

Honestly, at this point, I don't know how many promises I've broken to myself. I've done every diet and health plan under the sun. Heck, I did Code Red for a month before this craziness started. I stuck to it for the full 30 days with no sugar, no alcohol, lost 12 pounds and then, bam! Back to square one.

I've tried to quit smoking numerous times just to have alcohol or a family member derail me. But enough is enough!

If there's one thing we've learned through the pandemic, it's that if you're already healthy and taking care of yourself, it's much harder to get sick. Period, end of story.

I'm aware that I use my physical size as a buffer to keep me safe... and damn am I protected! But over the weekend I learned that not only does my ex have pneumonia, he has suspected lung cancer with two spots showing on his right lung. I can't adequately describe the roller coaster of emotions I've been on all weekend. It's heartbreaking, devastating and mind blowing all at once. I don't recommend it , but I do know this is my wake up call.

If I've been strong enough to weather the trials of the last year, I'm strong enough to make positive change for ME in my life.  And to do the work and pray for him in his new life. Maybe all this reflection and introspection IS HEALTHY? Hmmm... I'll let you know.

Either way, the diet and exercise program starts tomorrow and I'm calling my doctor for Chantix to beat this once and for all. Wish me luck and for the love, please help to keep me accountable!