The New Dad Blog Of The Day – Soapbox

Maybe I am the odd-ball here. I am totally excited that my wife and I are adding to the family. I won't lie, it scares the heck out of me. I am already a Dad, but the number one thing in my life is my family, my wife and kids.

My wife has said that not all men are as attentive to the needs of their family. For years I called BS on that, but I have come to realize there are some really great guys who want to be proactive Dads, but the few guys who want nothing to do with being a parent to their kids are what give us guys a bad rap.

The best part of this, when I was doing my research about being a new Dad, THIS is what I ran across first.

Check out some of these questions and answers from the website Baby Center:

QUESTION: My Husband's not attracted to me since I became pregnant. What do I do?
Answer 1: As depressed as I feel I am releived to know it's not just me. I, like many of you, assumed my boyfriend is cheating, if he isn't getting it from me, he must be somewhere else.
Answer 2: Help! I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant and I can't get my boyfriend to touch me (even hold me hand, rub my belly, anything)
Answer 3: I'm miserable and feel like he doesn't love me anymore. He swears that he's attracted to me but I feel otherwise when he claims that he has to work late all the time and spends his free time away from me. I know that he loves his baby that I carry, but I think he's lost it for me.
Answer 4: I just want to feel loved again, That warm Sexy feeling when your man cant wait to have you.

QUESTION: How do I get more support from my husband?

Answer 1: Oh how I can relate to all of you. Its really sad that during this time in our lives, a time that's supposed to be for us; our men seem to want to check out emotionally.
Answer 2: Pregnancy is the loneliest feeling in the world. That's the best thing my Mother-in-law has said to me.
Answer 3: I can relate to all of you. I am 36 weeks and I feel as if my husband has been checked out emotionally since about my third month. While he has been really great about taking care of the big stuff, new windows for the baby's room, a new fence, even a new car which we really needed, and I am utterly grateful that he is such a wonderful provider, I get the feeling that he resents my needs and feels a sorry for himself because he is so overwhelmed.
Answer 4: OMG, it is so good to know that I am not the only one with a husband that can be so inconsiderate. My husband is gone all the time and says I am the reason he stays away from home. Great, huh? Way to make your pregnant (30 wks) wife feel good. Know that you are not alone AT ALL.

And the litany of terrifying questions continued for pages. I will admit there are a lot of really nice things written about what being a Dad should be and could be, but this was NOT the introduction I wanted. Since then, I have found a lot of cool things about being the Dad of a newborn like, when can I feel the baby kick, what can I do to make my wife feel sexy, how often should I go to the OB appointments, etc.  But WOW, a terrifying way to be introduced. To say that my wife has a few choice words about those posts and their answer, is to put it mildly. I have to concur, pregnancy is much cooler than I ever dreamed it would be.

Those posts and responses are a great reason to be a better husband and father. I don't want to be those guys.