When eating at a Chinese Restaurant, most people look forward to the fortune cookie. They think they're fun. They even believe they're good luck. They take the lucky numbers on the back of the fortune and play them in the lottery. But me? Well, I get the stupidest fortunes of them all.

Sometimes I think, 'oh my fortune won't be stupid this time.' And then it turns out to be the worse fortune yet. Try this for a fortune: "Today will be a hard day, but you can work it out."

I don't want a hard day, and I don't want to work it out! Why couldn't it say something like, 'today is your lucky day; you're going to find a sack of money. The money is under the big rock in your front yard!' Now, that's a fortune!

I'm swearing off Chinese food. Need to lose weight anyway. Besides, the fortune cookies are made in Puerto Rico.

Grandmother. Gardener. Mardi Gras fanatic. Guest writer Suzy Ryan does it all. Check out more of her heartwarming memories and funny stories here. If you have a question for The Woo or want to share your own stories, drop a line: thewoo3@yahoo.com